either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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