you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
