well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
