you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This is my gift to your gina
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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