How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
