So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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