I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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