I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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