It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize