You made me cry and you don't even care
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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