I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He has the fingertips of a God
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