The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is wine microwaveable?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
