the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
