The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
