Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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