we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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