return my video game
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
