Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
