i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
