I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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