Who did Billy Mays play for?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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