which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
