but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just gift wrapped bread.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
