I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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