Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
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