so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize