they need to just BURY HIM!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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