We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
