You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize