Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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