Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hippo gnu deer
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
