I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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