well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
