You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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