turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
