you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your cock deserves a montage
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
