you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
