I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Come see our sink grown plant.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
