in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
