i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
