shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
