These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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