my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im holly from the hills drunk
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
