Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
