a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
