I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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