If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
