honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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