Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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