i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
