are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
