Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The air taste purple.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
