Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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