When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
