No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
