I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
