The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Boobs speak an international language.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize