I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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