Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize