TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
