last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
