I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
