I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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