3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
